It’s Okay to Say No to a MOH

The idea of bridesmaids is lovely. That all of your best girl friends will stand by you on your wedding day is indeed a beautiful sentiment. But, a truth not commonly discussed is how overhyped the role of a bridesmaid has become. It has morphed into a full-fledged friend contest that often creates an irreversible strain on relationships. There are very few weddings where no one’s feelings get hurt as a result of a bridal party decision. Friendships are a sacred facet of life and it is very risky to put them in jeopardy for the sake of “tradition”.

Think this is too harsh a criticism? Then consider the disingenuous nature of appointing bridesmaids in the first place. How is it that, the bride and groom just so happen to have the exact same number of “best friends”? There has to be at least one person who either the bride or groom is on the fence about, but have to toss in to even out the numbers. There is no sentiment behind that decision, and yet people pursue it time and time again.  There is nothing wrong with acknowledging your best friends and having them support you throughout your day without forcing them to wear matching outfits and stand in a line for display.

It is a subconscious perception that weddings are indicative of your life as a whole. You don’t have bridesmaids? You must not have friends. Do not be afraid to let your wedding be reflective of real life. If you only have one person who you are close enough to want as a bridesmaid, then only have one bridesmaid. If you feel like you would rather buck tradition all together and do away with a bridal party, do it!

There are a lot of benefits to not having a bridal party. In fact, it is an excellent way to cut costs. With the responsibility of a bridal party comes extra expenses: dresses, shoes, presents, accessories, etc. While you can opt to put this financial burden onto your maids, a huge point of contention between the bridal party and the bride is the cost of the wedding. Bridesmaids can be asked to pay for their own items, but it is often in best taste to take these costs on yourself, adding an even heavier load to your budget.

Doing away with a bridal party does not mean that you cannot share your special day with your friends. Many people like to have bridesmaids so that in pictures, the friends and bride look aesthetically cohesive. A good work-around for this if you are thinking of not having bridesmaids is to pick some neutral colors (black, nude, gold, silver, etc) and ask your best friends to wear a dress of one of these colors. That way, when you have your best friends in photographs, there is still a consistent look.

We often accept traditions when it comes to weddings without asking ourselves if they are necessary. The idea to skip over a bridal party can actually serve a lot of benefits, from relief of your checkbook to avoiding hurting anyone’s feelings, it is something wise to take into consideration.

Photo Credit: Vogue