Wedding Planning From a Groom’s Perspective
We all know that brides (usually) throw themselves into wedding planning, heart and soul. If marriage is something you’ve always wanted, it stands to reason that you’ve dreamed of your wedding day for a long time! You have tons of ideas about what you’re going to wear, how you’re going to decorate, and what your wedding cake is going to look like. For grooms, the process can be a little different. Marriage may have always been in the cards, but it’s not as frequent for grooms to know how to contribute to planning a wedding. If it feels like your groom isn’t as involved as you’d like him to be, or even if he’s fighting you on things that feel intuitive to you, chances are that it isn’t intentional. Stay compassionate and remember that your hubby-to-be may not have the same background or understanding of certain nuances of wedding planning that you do!
Here are some places where you groom might trip up, and some areas where you’ll find that you’ll be able to get him really involved:
1. Staying compassionate and understanding about expenses.
This one is probably the most frustrating. Your groom might not understand how much a wedding costs, particularly when it comes to things like hair and make-up preparation. Even weddings on strict budgets have hefty price tags, and you probably know this. Your fiancé may not understand why you want to spend money on preparation for things like hair, nails, makeup, and workout classes.
Explain to your fiancé that this preparation will probably cost a good deal more than your usual routine, and that’s okay! It’s par for the course, and more importantly, it’s temporary. When it’s all said and done, it’s not unheard of for brides to end up spending between $1,000 and $8,000 on hair and makeup alone…and your groom might experience more of a sticker shock than you do.
One way to get your groom comfortable with prices for these sorts of preparations is to first check for any deals or coupons to help bring down the price. Also make sure to check out professional makeup artist’s websites and menus to see what the general price point for your area is.
2. Help put together a guest list.
This is one of the most difficult parts of wedding planning, and one the groom should certainly play a large role in. Get your fiancé involved, because you’ll find that you have a lot to discuss.
Weddings are tricky because there’s no firm etiquette on who to invite, and who not to invite. Do you invite people from work? Do you even invite all of your family members? Which friends will and won’t make the cut? How many people do you want? How many people will realistically attend? Remember, at weddings you’re typically paying per person. It’s a delicate dance of choosing who you want to come to your big day and adding a couple of extra people as a buffer, should folks RSVP no.
3. Choosing groomsmen.
If you and your groom are having a wedding party, it’ll be up to your fiancé who the groomsmen are. Choosing groomsmen and choosing bridesmaids isn’t all that different, and you’ll want to remind him of that. Be sure to keep him in the loop about how many people he should ask and what your bridesmaids will be wearing, so he can plan accordingly.
4. Picking out gifts for your registry.
This is a fun one and one that grooms may forget about! It’s one of the few times outside of writing letters to Santa Claus as a kid that you can explicitly say, “I want this, this, and this.” So why not take some time and enjoy it?
You and your groom should decide if you want to register at a particular store, or if you want to set up a place for people to donate money. While the latter is an increasingly popular option, and many people use that money to fund things like their honeymoon, some folks still are more traditional and prefer just registering at a store. Making these decisions together is an important first step and a great way to make sure your groom stays involved.
Article written by Amanda Moore